3 times in one day? That must be a record

In case anyone wants to read something totally gnarly, I can send you a copy of my feature-length screenplay "Condolences" if you would like.

It details the events of Long Island businessmen and local-celebrity Fantastic Felix MacGuiness, after he wakes up one morning to find a mysterious package left on his office desk, blackmailing him with footage from a sexual-affair with an underage girl. The movie takes place all in one day and discusses the lengths a person will go to in order to maintain their public-image, and what they will do to keep a secret.

If interested, shoot me an email and I'll forward you a copy.

And if you plan to plagiarize it as your own, please be courteous and let me know in advance. My lawyer really hates it when I don't call ahead first.